Alright, story time folks, take a seat.
About a month and a half ago now, my girlfriend at the time decided to call me and tell me that things weren't working out and that she wanted to take a break and see where things stood. I had felt like there had been something wrong for a few days prior to this so I agreed to the break and figured it might be for the best. We agreed that we would take a 1-2 week break and then I would go visit her and see where things were. Two days later, she calls and decides that the break was what she needed and that we should break up fully. I want to say I saw it coming because things had felt different for a little while, like we weren't as close, but it still came as a little bit of a blindside, just because I didn't anticipate it happening so quickly. A 7 minute phone call was all it took to end a 5 year relationship. There I was, single for the first time in half a decade.
A little bit of a backstory on our relationship. I'm 22, she's 21. We started dating when we were both in high school. A couple years went by and she moved away to school, so from there on, we were long distance. It was only an hour away, but still, distance is distance. I would visit her and come stay with her at her dorm and eventually her apartment a few times a month. Fast forward to this past summer, she graduated and got a job in a city even further away, only 30 more miles, but again, distance is distance. With her new work schedule and the distance being even further, I began to visit her less and less. We were dating for 5 years, but over half the time was virtually a long distance relationship. I loved her and I still do, but at times I wished I was single because I felt like I had all the restrictions of being in a relationship, but hardly any of the benefits. I spent more time without her than I did with her.
So, I'm single again and almost immediately after the breakup, I reconnected with an old friend who happens to be a girl. We were friends back in high school, but she's 2 years older than me, so she graduated and went to college as well. I thought about her a lot over the years, but we didn't really talk. We were both busy doing our own things and during this time, I was dating another girl. Well, I had a really big crush on this girl back in high school, but never told her. Now that we had started hanging out again, I mustered up the courage to tell her that, only to find out that she felt the same way back in high school. I was blown away, thinking there was no possible way she could have liked me back then. We'd hang out with mutual friends and eventually started hanging out by ourselves. We'd hang out longer and longer and then I started spending the night at her place. I started out by sleeping on the futon next to her bed, then that progressed to her sleeping next to me on the futon, and eventually I made my way into her bed. The feelings I had for her way back when were back and stronger than ever and it was pretty clear that she felt the same way about me. We discussed this time and time again until I eventually worked up enough courage to kiss her. Things were going well.
She has had a variety of bad experiences with guys before me that left her in pretty bad situations. She has trouble trusting guys since she's been cheated on, so it was hard for her to trust me, let alone open up to me. We were getting closer and closer, but she made it clear that she wasn't ready for a relationship and me, just getting out a 5 year one, was nowhere near ready either. I wasn't trying to force things or move quickly, but that's the way it seemed to be happening. A few weeks of kissing, yadda yadda, and she decides that she's too afraid of losing me as a friend that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. She explained that she wants to be close/intimate with me, but she doesn't want those things unless she's in a relationship and she's not ready for that yet. Essentially, I had been friendzoned. I told her I wasn't going to abandon her and that I'd still be her friend, but it's extremely difficult to just push those feelings aside, especially after already getting as close as we had gotten.
We ended up getting into an argument, which was mostly my fault, and I'm scared that she'll never want to be as close as we were and that I'll be stuck with these feelings forever. We're on good terms again and I have no doubts that we'll remain good friends for a very long time, but I'm still scared that because of what she's experienced in the past, that she'll be too afraid to pursue anything long-term with me. It's a pretty shitty situation.
The crazy thing about all this is that this all happened within the span of a month and a half. Here I am now.
tl;dr Girlfriend of 5 years dumped me, got close to an old friend, was friendzoned