Sonic's...gonna...kill...you!

[xirtamehtsitahw]

"Would you like to play with me? I enjoy playing hide and seek. You can't run from me. You're too slow. Want to try again? Found you! So many souls to play with...so little time, wouldn't you agree? Ready for Round 3? I...am...GOD!"

 

Those were the words of Sonic.exe, just before he launched into yet another "Kefka laugh loop", which lasted for a record 20 minutes, 38 seconds.

 

I have created a rather faithful rendition of Sonic.exe on my game, and boy is he CREEPY! His blank, red-eyed stare (he hardly ever blinks), his infamous "slasher smile" he always greets his vict--I mean opponents with, and his entrance...oh man, I can't begin to describe the awesome freak-show factor of it--Sonic comes out, acting just like the zombie-slash-possessed Sonic puppet that he is, and even bites at the cameraman, forcing him to back away! He literally bumps into the ring apron, then stumbles into the ring, and lurches around, before stumbling backward into a seated position behind the second and top ropes, while he paws at thin air, grinning stupidly (and scarily) the whole time.

 

Sonic's vitals (if you can even call them that--I'm not sure as to his "living status") are as follows:

 

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 100 pounds

Hometown: Parts Unknown

Announcer Intro: The Nightmare

Nickname: Even Satan Fears Me!

Placement: Prefix

 

I loaded Sonic.exe with as many "dirty" moves as I could, as well as gave him the infamous "Testicular Claw" signature move. His finishers are rather creepy, too: his first one is called "Your Soul is Mine!" and is a series of eight gut kicks followed by a rather vicious fake-out spear. His second one is called "Yes, There Will Be Blood", and is a series of nine measured head strikes, followed by a jumping knee facebuster. Yes, this move can--and often does--make you bleed.

 

In closing, here is a creepy little poem to go along with my description of my Sonic.exe CAW:

 

I'm the monster in your closet, I'm the creature looking through your window.

I'm the beast hiding underneath your bed, I'm the freak lurking in the shadows.

I'm the bad dream that keeps you up at night, I'm the boogeyman you see when you turn out the light.

You can run, child, but you cannot hide, because I'll always be right back by your side.

No one will ever hear you cry for help, as I take you straight...to...hell! *Cue Kefka laugh*