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Cain IS Abel

Member Since 01 Apr 2011
Offline Last Active Private
Nothing says 'cunt' more than writing 'c*nt'. Updated 19 Apr · 1 comments

About Me

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There would be a lot less passive-aggression in the world if only real life just played out like a budget porno.

Well, I guess I should tell you some stuff about me since this is an "About Me" page. Where to begin? Name sounds like a good plan. My name if Jeff but call me Cain. Not because that's my username but because that's been my nickname since... well, since I was born. Even my family call me Cain. I don't know where it came from. At first I thought it was short for Jeff but then I realised it has the same amount of letters. How stupid would that be, right? My parents aren't religious (neither am I) I'm just into mythology and all that shizzle which is where the Cain IS Abel thing comes from. Nice play on words, huh? See, I'm smart. *Censored* YOU! <3 I'm nineteen. Depending on who you're depends on whether you think I'm immature or mature. I guess with my intellect (I'm like a cheap and less queer looking Russel Brand, I like to use big words for no reason) and general like of things being in there place and stuff like that, you could say I'm mature. But my humour and general childish behaviour could determine me immature. I'm an insomniac so expect to see me on pretty much 24/7. You lucky Americans, you. You don't get any less of Cain. I love my food (for example, buy McChicken Burger. Put Chicken Buger INSIDE Big Mac. You get a McChicken Big Mac. You're welcome.) but have that thing that no matter how much you eat, you can't put on any weight. 6'2" and only 11 stone. People, don't wish to be skinny. It's not what it's cut out to be. If you want bumps and bruises directly to your bone due to lack of muscle, fat and skin; be my guest. I'm also T Total (I guess I could call it Straight Edge) but that doesn't mean I don't know how to party. Just so you know, I hate people who feel as though they have to drink to have a good time. I will get my penis out, show my butt, shag a slut and tie myself to a lamppost but still remember it in the morning.

I like to occasionally make love to my Xbox however, I don't have live. I know, right? GET WITH THE TIMES! I'm cheap, piss off. I love movies and I love music. Strangely, I don't have a favourite movie or band/artist. I am kind of a collective movie/music lover and I watch/listen to everything! In life I'm indubitably into football. (It pains me to say this because I absolutely loathe the term with a passion but I mean "soccer", not the American crap.) Manchester United, if you're wondering. If you know who they're and want to join in with some football banter, please do. The most entertaining part of my life is when someone likes to start shit because I support Man U. Believe it or not, I'm not really into wrestling anymore. I know, right? Strange place to be considering. I catch a little of the WWE although I love more to complain how good it used to be than actually watching it now. I know, it's even stranger considering I chose Derrick Bateman as a superstar but hey, he suits me down to the ground with his arrogance and general childish charm. You will learn to love me but secretly hate me. I'm cool with that. I love my women. I have been reffered to as a bit of a man whore but again, I'm cool with that. I am generally a nice person though. I have had countless one night stands but they know what they're getting into and who hasn't had one, one night stand? So yeah, that's me. I do tone down the arrogance so even if you've read this and you already hate me, please love me... I give great cuddles...


Community Stats


  • Group Members
  • Active Posts 59
  • Profile Views 2,586
  • Member Title Jobber
  • Age Age Unknown
  • Birthday Birthday Unknown
  • Gender
    Male Male
  • Location
    The United Kingdom of Whatever.
  • Interests
    You.
  • 7+1
    8

Previous Fields


  • Wrestler
    Derrick Bateman
  • Hometown
    Cleveland, Ohio
  • Height
    6'2''
  • Weight
    231
  • Finishers
    Man-Tastic
  • Tag Team Partner(s)
    Dolph Ziggler (BreakOut Pro)
  • Record
    2 | 1 | 0

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