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Whatcha Listening To 2?!


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If I could offer up some backstory, I was actually randomly talking to that Khaotic dude on Facebook as he was doing a live video in a group I'm in. That "Needle in the Haystack" song was playing in the background and I couldn't Shazam it, so I was just like "Yo that shit sounds catchy as hell. Who does that song?". He just kinda chuckled, panned out, and turns out he was in studio recording and mixing that song. I kept telling him it sounded like a hit and we started talking about what the video would look like. I searched every day for weeks for it to surface on YouTube so I could hear it better, and finally got it. The song reminded me of something, actually...

 

 

The last time I ever came close to loving a girl was a couple years ago. It was a very slow build...we were friendly...then we were friends...then really good friends... we made eachother laugh all the time....I really got the impression she was feeling me and that's not a thing that happens, so I was in a constant state of "Wtf, this is really happening? Someone is actually into me?" lol....I mean this girl managed to check every single box for me. I talked this girl up to my mother, who still lived Florida, for about 2 years, excited for them to meet one day. We started dating and things were a little awkward, but it still definitely felt like something special was happening and blossoming all the time.

 

Cut to my mother flying out to visit for the weekend of Mother's Day, after me not having seen her in about 3 or 4 years. There was this monthly latin music dance night at a popular local bar. The girl and I had actually gone to it a couple times. Sometimes some of her family was there as well, so I told my mom "Hey, you might finally meet this special lady because she might be there with her mom and some cousins..." And yeah, she was there......with another guy. I almost gave my heart to that. That was it for me. In front of my mother, too? I've had a sort of anti-gravity forcefield around me ever since, and probably always will. I was just done after that....haven't even really had a crush in years. Ya boy's paid some dues in the romance department, my brethren. And this was shortly after a suicide attempt. Talk about a banner year.

 

Anyway, cut to present day, I heard she quit her day job, became a mantenida to some poor soul, and thinks she's too woke to shave her armpits, on top of everything. Maybe it's God's way of telling me I won. lol. Nah, I hope she's happy with everything she has, does, and everywhere she goes in life. Because nobody ever came that close, and maybe nobody ever will. I wish all of you more love than you ever know what to do with....and that you never, ever have to feel the way I felt that day [and for maybe the next 2 years that followed]. I love y'all. ANTI- cares, if don't nobody else care. lol

 

 

 

 

Back to our regularly scheduled program...

 

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