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(Parody) 2K announces last 20 names.


joe368

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<I>"Hi, y'all. This is Bryan Williams, the director of marketing for WWE 2k16 here to present a special video reveal for the final 20 Superstars & Divas announced for this year's game! We hope you enjoy, so let's get started!

 

1. David Otunga

 

Our first superstar is everyone's favorite Hudson, David Otunga! Isn't he one of the most relevant talent in the company today? We know he is. We also reanimated his finisher to make it look .005% more impactful! Isn't that amazing???

 

2. John Laurinaitis

 

Next, we got the number one guy complimentary to Otunga, PEOPLE POWER! It's John Laurinaitis in a suit ripped right out of WWE '13! He definitely isn't a joke character whatsoever, we are thrilled to have him back this year for absolutely no reason!

 

3. Mojo Rawley

 

What NXT talent would you see? Well you got a taste of the End of Days last year, so that must mean you want MOJO RAWLEY! He doesn't get hyped, he stays hyped! Who were you expecting? Baron Corbin? Yeah, right.

 

4. Brad Maddox

 

Our next revealed star: Brad Maddox! Now you can relive his infamous promo on Jericho, Barrett, & the Miz as he gets his own 2K Showcase mode! You don't want to miss it!

 

5. Cameron

 

We are all about that DIVAS REVOLUTION, so the next reveal is everybody's favorite airhead, Cameron! She left the company to work for BET, but hey, if BET ever wanted to work with us we could easily give them free promotion! Girl bye yo!

 

6. Trevor Murdoch

 

We heard thousands of your messages, guy, & it wasn't easy. It took a ton of effort, backtracking, & Febreeze, but he's BACK! Trevor Murdoch, the future hall of famer is here to stay!

 

7. Jinder Mahal

 

Next is Jinder Mahal! Now you can relive all 4 great moments of the legacy of 3MB with Heath Slater & Jack Swagger!

 

8. The Great Khali

 

& what is Jinder without his ridiculously obvious brother, the Great Khali, or as he calls himself, RRRGGGTTTBBRRRRRGGGGG? You can still do all his deadly maneuvers, moving one hand up & down, moving 2 hands up & down, & 83 more!

 

9. Lana

 

The Ravishing Russian makes her 2K debut, without even working a single match! We predicted her move set perfectly, so you'll get to see he doing head scissors, sunset flips, and of course her headless fish move!

 

10. Kurt Angle

 

Kurt Angle, The Olympic Hero last seen in SVR2007 is finally back! Well...maybe he will be, if TNA goes belly up by the time this game is out, but if they aren't, then...we got some work to do. But anyways,

 

11. Zara Schreiber

 

Now you get to play as Seth Rollins' non racist, non Nazi girlfriend! We were thrilled to have gotten her in the game this year & we hope you all can't wait to play as her.

 

12. The Boogeyman

 

He's coming the GETCHA! The Boogeyman once again is available in our game, & we can't believe it either, now you'll be able to create several dream matches with the Rock, the Undertaker, & Stardust!

 

13. Steph Curry

 

Next is Steph Curry! In conjunction with NBA 2K, Steph Curry will be available for the first time ever! Continuing our cross promotion, a special WWE team will be available in NBA 2K16, featuring John Cena, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, & Roman Reigns as players!

 

14. Bam Neely

 

Superstar no. 14 is Bam Neely, because we just randomly thought you might like him. Moving right along.

 

15. Johnny Curtis

 

The generic wrestler that Fandango wishes he could go back to, it's NXT season 4 winner, Johnny Curtis. Relive his numerous pointless vignettes as well as his lone squash match against Mark Henry in his exclusive 7 hour campaign mode! You're gonna love him!

 

16. Vickie Guerrero

 

We're down to the remaining 5! You know of Charlotte, Sasha Banks, & Becky Lynch invading Raw, but none of that wouldn't be possible without one woman. Next is Vickie Guerrero! You'll be able to do 60 different finishers on her to put in a YouTube video. by the way, she never had a famous husband, never ever.

 

17. CM Punk

 

YES! UFC fighter CM Punk is here, & this is just a precautionary measure in case Punk gets totally clobbered back to WWE in his first fight, then he would already be in the game with our crappy model of him from scratch!

 

18. Justin Gabriel

 

Next is GFW's dare wolf, the Justin Gabriel! Now he may be no longer in WWE, but you know, making new models is just SO MUCH WOOORK, we're tiiiiiiiiiired. You can just pretend he's Kazuchika Okada.

 

19. Napoleon

 

Our last Superstar ever to be revealed is Napolean, not Dynamite, but Bonaparte! Napolean one of the featured characters in Sid Meier's Civilization series will be cross promoted with WWE 2K16! Now you can relive the battle of Waterloo inside a WWE ring for the first time ever!

 

20. Michael Cole

 

Our last wrestler this year, capping off a whopping 120! Who's a legendary Diva we could have added this year? Lita? Trish? Mickie? Well screw them! SCREW THEM! Like every year, & instead we're going to add a commentator, the weekly longest talking idiotic commentator in history!

 

So that was it, the final 20 wrestlers in WWE 2K16! In case you were all wondering, NO we won't make DLC, other than a $30 season pass full of 2K showcases of people already in the game, as well as a free Diva, Carmella! That's all folks!"<I>

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<I>"Hi, y'all. This is Bryan Williams, the director of marketing for WWE 2k16 here to present a special video reveal for the final 20 Superstars & Divas announced for this year's game! We hope you enjoy, so let's get started!

 

1. David Otunga

 

Our first superstar is everyone's favorite Hudson, David Otunga! Isn't he one of the most relevant talent in the company today? We know he is. We also reanimated his finisher to make it look .005% more impactful! Isn't that amazing???

 

2. John Laurinaitis

 

Next, we got the number one guy complimentary to Otunga, PEOPLE POWER! It's John Laurinaitis in a suit ripped right out of WWE '13! He definitely isn't a joke character whatsoever, we are thrilled to have him back this year for absolutely no reason!

 

3. Mojo Rawley

 

What NXT talent would you see? Well you got a taste of the End of Days last year, so that must mean you want MOJO RAWLEY! He doesn't get hyped, he stays hyped! Who were you expecting? Baron Corbin? Yeah, right.

 

4. Brad Maddox

 

Our next revealed star: Brad Maddox! Now you can relive his infamous promo on Jericho, Barrett, & the Miz as he gets his own 2K Showcase mode! You don't want to miss it!

 

5. Cameron

 

We are all about that DIVAS REVOLUTION, so the next reveal is everybody's favorite airhead, Cameron! She left the company to work for BET, but hey, if BET ever wanted to work with us we could easily give them free promotion! Girl bye yo!

 

6. Trevor Murdoch

 

We heard thousands of your messages, guy, & it wasn't easy. It took a ton of effort, backtracking, & Febreeze, but he's BACK! Trevor Murdoch, the future hall of famer is here to stay!

 

7. Jinder Mahal

 

Next is Jinder Mahal! Now you can relive all 4 great moments of the legacy of 3MB with Heath Slater & Jack Swagger!

 

8. The Great Khali

 

& what is Jinder without his ridiculously obvious brother, the Great Khali, or as he calls himself, RRRGGGTTTBBRRRRRGGGGG? You can still do all his deadly maneuvers, moving one hand up & down, moving 2 hands up & down, & 83 more!

 

9. Lana

 

The Ravishing Russian makes her 2K debut, without even working a single match! We predicted her move set perfectly, so you'll get to see he doing head scissors, sunset flips, and of course her headless fish move!

 

10. Kurt Angle

 

Kurt Angle, The Olympic Hero last seen in SVR2007 is finally back! Well...maybe he will be, if TNA goes belly up by the time this game is out, but if they aren't, then...we got some work to do. But anyways,

 

11. Zara Schreiber

 

Now you get to play as Seth Rollins' non racist, non Nazi girlfriend! We were thrilled to have gotten her in the game this year & we hope you all can't wait to play as her.

 

12. The Boogeyman

 

He's coming the GETCHA! The Boogeyman once again is available in our game, & we can't believe it either, now you'll be able to create several dream matches with the Rock, the Undertaker, & Stardust!

 

13. Steph Curry

 

Next is Steph Curry! In conjunction with NBA 2K, Steph Curry will be available for the first time ever! Continuing our cross promotion, a special WWE team will be available in NBA 2K16, featuring John Cena, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, & Roman Reigns as players!

 

14. Bam Neely

 

Superstar no. 14 is Bam Neely, because we just randomly thought you might like him. Moving right along.

 

15. Johnny Curtis

 

The generic wrestler that Fandango wishes he could go back to, it's NXT season 4 winner, Johnny Curtis. Relive his numerous pointless vignettes as well as his lone squash match against Mark Henry in his exclusive 7 hour campaign mode! You're gonna love him!

 

16. Vickie Guerrero

 

We're down to the remaining 5! You know of Charlotte, Sasha Banks, & Becky Lynch invading Raw, but none of that wouldn't be possible without one woman. Next is Vickie Guerrero! You'll be able to do 60 different finishers on her to put in a YouTube video. by the way, she never had a famous husband, never ever.

 

17. CM Punk

 

YES! UFC fighter CM Punk is here, & this is just a precautionary measure in case Punk gets totally clobbered back to WWE in his first fight, then he would already be in the game with our crappy model of him from scratch!

 

18. Justin Gabriel

 

Next is GFW's dare wolf, the Justin Gabriel! Now he may be no longer in WWE, but you know, making new models is just SO MUCH WOOORK, we're tiiiiiiiiiired. You can just pretend he's Kazuchika Okada.

 

19. Napoleon

 

Our last Superstar ever to be revealed is Napolean, not Dynamite, but Bonaparte! Napolean one of the featured characters in Sid Meier's Civilization series will be cross promoted with WWE 2K16! Now you can relive the battle of Waterloo inside a WWE ring for the first time ever!

 

20. Michael Cole

 

Our last wrestler this year, capping off a whopping 120! Who's a legendary Diva we could have added this year? Lita? Trish? Mickie? Well screw them! SCREW THEM! Like every year, & instead we're going to add a commentator, the weekly longest talking idiotic commentator in history!

 

So that was it, the final 20 wrestlers in WWE 2K16! In case you were all wondering, NO we won't make DLC, other than a $30 season pass full of 2K showcases of people already in the game, as well as a free Diva, Carmella! That's all folks!"<I>

Isn't Cameron actually already revealed? Lol

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Not sure if you're trying to be funny, or just trying to get attention. Expect this to be locked soon.

For what? ...

 

 

More often than not, when a thread get posted like this, it usually leads to a lot of trouble, leading usally to a mod stepping in and closing the thread before it gets out of control. There have been numerous examples over the years. Just trying to be helpful.

 

BTW It was pretty interesting.

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