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Tell us the BS going on right now in your life


M3:16

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Alright, story time folks, take a seat.

 

About a month and a half ago now, my girlfriend at the time decided to call me and tell me that things weren't working out and that she wanted to take a break and see where things stood. I had felt like there had been something wrong for a few days prior to this so I agreed to the break and figured it might be for the best. We agreed that we would take a 1-2 week break and then I would go visit her and see where things were. Two days later, she calls and decides that the break was what she needed and that we should break up fully. I want to say I saw it coming because things had felt different for a little while, like we weren't as close, but it still came as a little bit of a blindside, just because I didn't anticipate it happening so quickly. A 7 minute phone call was all it took to end a 5 year relationship. There I was, single for the first time in half a decade.

 

A little bit of a backstory on our relationship. I'm 22, she's 21. We started dating when we were both in high school. A couple years went by and she moved away to school, so from there on, we were long distance. It was only an hour away, but still, distance is distance. I would visit her and come stay with her at her dorm and eventually her apartment a few times a month. Fast forward to this past summer, she graduated and got a job in a city even further away, only 30 more miles, but again, distance is distance. With her new work schedule and the distance being even further, I began to visit her less and less. We were dating for 5 years, but over half the time was virtually a long distance relationship. I loved her and I still do, but at times I wished I was single because I felt like I had all the restrictions of being in a relationship, but hardly any of the benefits. I spent more time without her than I did with her.

 

So, I'm single again and almost immediately after the breakup, I reconnected with an old friend who happens to be a girl. We were friends back in high school, but she's 2 years older than me, so she graduated and went to college as well. I thought about her a lot over the years, but we didn't really talk. We were both busy doing our own things and during this time, I was dating another girl. Well, I had a really big crush on this girl back in high school, but never told her. Now that we had started hanging out again, I mustered up the courage to tell her that, only to find out that she felt the same way back in high school. I was blown away, thinking there was no possible way she could have liked me back then. We'd hang out with mutual friends and eventually started hanging out by ourselves. We'd hang out longer and longer and then I started spending the night at her place. I started out by sleeping on the futon next to her bed, then that progressed to her sleeping next to me on the futon, and eventually I made my way into her bed. The feelings I had for her way back when were back and stronger than ever and it was pretty clear that she felt the same way about me. We discussed this time and time again until I eventually worked up enough courage to kiss her. Things were going well.

 

She has had a variety of bad experiences with guys before me that left her in pretty bad situations. She has trouble trusting guys since she's been cheated on, so it was hard for her to trust me, let alone open up to me. We were getting closer and closer, but she made it clear that she wasn't ready for a relationship and me, just getting out a 5 year one, was nowhere near ready either. I wasn't trying to force things or move quickly, but that's the way it seemed to be happening. A few weeks of kissing, yadda yadda, and she decides that she's too afraid of losing me as a friend that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. She explained that she wants to be close/intimate with me, but she doesn't want those things unless she's in a relationship and she's not ready for that yet. Essentially, I had been friendzoned. I told her I wasn't going to abandon her and that I'd still be her friend, but it's extremely difficult to just push those feelings aside, especially after already getting as close as we had gotten.

 

We ended up getting into an argument, which was mostly my fault, and I'm scared that she'll never want to be as close as we were and that I'll be stuck with these feelings forever. We're on good terms again and I have no doubts that we'll remain good friends for a very long time, but I'm still scared that because of what she's experienced in the past, that she'll be too afraid to pursue anything long-term with me. It's a pretty shitty situation.

 

The crazy thing about all this is that this all happened within the span of a month and a half. Here I am now.

 

 

tl;dr Girlfriend of 5 years dumped me, got close to an old friend, was friendzoned

There's no way I'm reading all of that but I tl;dr and I feel you, bro.

Since you didn't read it, I feel inclined to say that I was already close to her and such before I was friendzoned. That's what makes this really hard. It's not like I tried to get close and she hit me with the friendzone. I was in man, I was in.
I think that when a man kisses a woman, they see it as you attempting to get close to them; some not even taking into account that they would be technically getting close/intimate too by continuing the kiss and not stopping it.

 

I know how you feel about being left in the most by a girlfriend; I came out of a turbulent relationship with my ex that had lasted for four months. I ended up having her tell me, with my friends there, that she hated me; she used to watch me from obscure locations (like, I used to catch her watching me by looking around).

 

I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore because I realised that the start is always the best bit. Realising you and that girl seem to share that connection and you just want to take her hand and walk with her through a beautiful journey.

 

However, I ended up being intimate w/ this other girl a while back and we ended up being together. Defo the best-looking girl I have been with so far and you know when you suddenly imagine all of these adventures you want to embark on with the girl you seemingly fancy/love?

 

That's how I felt. I was adamant I wanted to be in a long-term relationship with her but as soon as she got a new phone, she tweeted for people to direct message her on Twitter for her new number. I did so. She didn't respond but she was still actively tweeting. I didn't understand what was going on.

 

I let things slide for a while. A week or so, she's putting up Beyonce tour pictures and everything; I'm like, "You didn't even think of me at all during that time?" I'm not being selfish but to be completely enjoying without even any thought of me despite the fact you were talking about how you'd like having kids with me in the future is a bit strange.

 

I messaged her again, no reply. Still actively tweeting. Fast forward to now, I can say I was in the same position as you. Not legit being given the friend zone but my situation was a bit worse in the sense that no response is harder to swallow.

 

However, I can say that yours was emotionally harder to swallow in the sense that you and her go quite back and you both had crushes for each other so it's as if the flame was rekindled between you both.

 

This is what I won't understand about girls fully. I kind of know that you can't stop feelings as I was blindly in love with my other ex and couldn't dump her until things became a bit too much for me to handle but the way some women cut some men off are upsetting.

Wow. I had the same thing happen to me Royal. I dated this girl earlier this year (about March/April time, we'll call her AD [not her real initials]) but she broke up with me after a month because she wanted to focus on her college work. We remained friends for a while but then she just got hard to contact. She wouldn't reply to my e-mails nor answer the phone. I left it for a while, thinking I'd upset her.

 

Three weeks ago I called AD up wanting to apologise. She said I hadn't offended her in any way shape or form. THEN WHY THE *Censored* DID YOU JUST STOP TALKING TO ME? We agreed to meet up a week later.

 

Two weeks ago we spent the day together, and AD said she wanted to get back together with me and I, stupidly in hindsight, said yes. A few days later I realised I had other commitments & such had to re-arrange our first date. I tried to phone AD but her mom said she wasn't in even though I heard my AD's mom talking to her in the background. I asked AD's mom to pass on the message but I got no response back.

 

One week ago we were due on a date but she didn't even answer the door to me. Later that day I left a message on AD's answer phone telling her I was breaking up with her unless she called me back. I still haven't heard a peep from her.

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If you still have feelings for your ex, then you shouldn't go after this new girl(especially because she doesn't want it). It'll only be a rebound it'll have a negative impact on everyone involved. Just try focus on yourself. Breakups *censored*ing suck man.

That's the thing though. I don't really have feelings for her anymore, at least not in that sense. I still care about her and want to be friends with her, but with over half of our relationship being long distance, I think it's safe to say that the distance finally caught up to us. The last few months of our relationship, we barely talked because we were both so busy and things just weren't the same.

 

Also, it's not like the feelings for the new girl came out of nowhere, especially since she's not technically a new girl. Old feelings came back.

 

I actually took the break up a lot better than I had anticipated. Yeah, it sucks, but I didn't get depressed like I imagined I would.

So it's safe to say that your ex is completely out of the picture now. Focusing on the new one is the way to go. Give it some time and see if you can work something out with her eventually.

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I have Loans, loans everywhere.

Oh god, me too. I'm so far in debt, it's not even funny.

 

Same here. We need to find a good job ASAP. :\

 

*censored*ing US government and universities being full of greedy little shits.

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I have Loans, loans everywhere.

Oh god, me too. I'm so far in debt, it's not even funny.

 

Same here. We need to find a good job ASAP. :\

 

*censored*ing US government and universities being full of greedy little shits.

 

 

I take it financial aid was not an option for you? That is why I declined the loans when my university offered them to me; financial aid covered my tuition and then some.

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I have Loans, loans everywhere.

Oh god, me too. I'm so far in debt, it's not even funny.

 

Same here. We need to find a good job ASAP. :\

 

*censored*ing US government and universities being full of greedy little shits.

 

 

I take it financial aid was not an option for you? That is why I declined the loans when my university offered them to me; financial aid covered my tuition and then some.

 

I get financial aid through my school, but I still have to pay it back once I graduate.

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There's this guy in my Drafting class who I want to date, but he doesn't roll the way I do.

 

My dad has been bitching at me and shit because he refuses to take his medicine.

 

I've been backstabbed by 3 guys I thought I could trust with my life in the span of 6 days.

 

My Twitter got hacked by a mother from PA, and changed everything.

 

Still can't find a job.

 

Dad may have suckered me into giving him permission to my bank account.

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Nah man, we just suck dick. It's a newly set up team, so we got the option to start in the lowest division (8th) or take up a free spot in 4th. We took the free spot, but we have HUGELY overestimated ourselves. Ironically, our best game was the one where we were forced to start with 8 man.

No wonder. I thought you were in a pretty strong team, I was wondering why goals would keep going past your defence and you.

 

Don't worry, even if you get relegated -- it's for the better as you'd handle the competition from a lower division with more ease.

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I have Loans, loans everywhere.

Oh god, me too. I'm so far in debt, it's not even funny.

 

Same here. We need to find a good job ASAP. :\

 

*censored*ing US government and universities being full of greedy little shits.

 

 

I take it financial aid was not an option for you? That is why I declined the loans when my university offered them to me; financial aid covered my tuition and then some.

 

It was, and I took it. Still gotta pay that back too.

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Rolled a perfect joint; was gonna smoke it by my waterfall, but now it looks like it's going to rain. Mountainfolk problems.

That sounds so relaxing I'm actually gonna try and do that.

I got that one perfect spot on the beach where I live. Go sit in a big hill overlooking the sea on a peaceful day is lovely and tranquil. Can't really do that during the winter though, so thats bullshit.

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