Dr Vries

Cole: What a hero [name of heel] is! He's the greatest human being in the history of all known events. He's out there with [name of quasi-celebrity] listening to [name of whatever musical artist the WWE considers hip] watching [name of popular TV show no one in the WWE watches]! I bet you never watched [name of TV show], Josh! I bet you've never even kissed a girl. You probably just sit around. Eating food. Drinking beverages. Like a eating, drinking guy. Who does stuff!

Booker T: Awwwwwwwwwwwww, my goodness. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Matthews: Should AJ get bedeazzled ass implants? Head over to the WWE Universe page on Facebook and let us know what your thoughts are on the matter!

Booker T: That. Is. What. I'm. Talking. About. Hold up, hold up, hold up! Looky here, dog. This is the part of the match when things really count. When you've got to dig deep and find that stuff deep down inside you, man.

Cole: I bet you've never dug down deep to find anything, Josh. You probably just sit around. Talking to people. Living your life. Converting oxygen into carbon-dioxide. Like a breather.

Matthews: Trent Barreta unleashed a bit of a storm on Twitter over the weekend, tweeting that he bought himself a nice new pair of pants.

Booker T: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwww

(pause)

Can you feel me?