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I found a used condom...


Too Many Limes

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No, not in my mom's room.

 

I found it at my front door, thought it was odd. I have no clue which of my neighbors used it, though I feel like it was put there purposely to spite me. It could have just fallen from somebody's trash as they were walking by. Maybe it's a warning?

 

What I really feel like doing is to buy a box of condoms, load them all up, and splatter the culprit's door with them. Problems are I don't know whose it is and that sounds like something that could land me in some legal problems. I'll probably end up ignoring it as the wind could blow it away or some animal will pick it up, I'd rather not touch it.

 

What would you do?

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Turn the condom inside out, put it inside you, have the baby, go on Jezza Kyle and do a DNA test.

 

Then we'll know!

Wait, I'm not the only one who calls him Jezza?

 

Apparently not!

Mother of God...

 

We belong together... Marry me?

Sorry bro, don't swing that way.

 

And to the OP; make an assumption on who it was and whoever's you're first suspect, don't change your mind and just shove the condom through their letterbox. Make yourself believe it was them and make sure they don't know it was you so they can't retaliate. I must stress that you DON'T change your mind on who you suspect, especially halfway through the act of shoving that johnny through their door. You'll be riddled with guilt after.

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You could take a sample from it and test it for the DNA to see who it belongs to. You can then correctly administer your revenge, until then hold out and see if it happens again. Remember, you've got just as much ammo as they do and if push comes to shove you can hit them up with some of your own baby gravy. If they cum at you, you cum back stronger, perseverance is the key to success so don't give up...

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You could take a sample from it and test it for the DNA to see who it belongs to. You can then correctly administer your revenge, until then hold out and see if it happens again. Remember, you've got just as much ammo as they do and if push comes to shove you can hit them up with some of your own baby gravy. If they cum at you, you cum back stronger, perseverance is the key to success so don't give up...

 

 

I am in love with you!

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